Saturday, 3 March 2007

The adventures of Sam And The Short Ones
Sam was a wise young man. He woke up one day to find his shoes missing. This greatly disturbed him. He walked barefoot, around the house, searching for the missing shoes. He opened the cupboard door to find a strangely short man inside. And that was the start of the mayhem. Beside the strangely short man, there was a large apple pie, wide as a tyre, a crust deliciously thin. The sweet intoxicating smell of the pie seemed to quite literally 'take his breath away'. "Dont smell that!",shouted the strangely short man,"It'll kill you! It's a breathtaking pie!". Sam did not like what was happening. This what a bit too much for him. His cupboard was being occupied by a strangely short man with an evil apple pie he was not supposed to smell, and his shoes were missing. He was about to close the door and go back to sleep when the words of the strangely short man stopped him. "I know where your shoes are.",he said. He smiled in the most evil manner as he said this, and that was the first time Sam realized he was about to enter a world which was very unwordly, and there was no way back for the young man from Africa. However, he had no choice. His shoes were missing, and he simply could not, and would not, go on with his dreary, meaningless life without the comfort, sense of belonging, and security he felt when he put on his lovely bunny slippers.

"Tell me where they are then!"
"Why not?!"
"Alright fine! The Great Earl has your shoes!"
"Lets get it from him then!"

Before Sam could reply, he passed out from smelling the breathtaking apple pie.
Sam woke up for the second time that day to find his shoes still missing. At first, he didn't notice anything wrong, but when another strangely short man ran into the room, pinched his nose, and ran off, he realized he wasn't at home, and his nose hurt. He was in a strange room with a strangely short ceiling. He got up, bumped his head several times, and made it to the other side of the room to find the door locked. He could still hear voices however, and he pressed his rather large ear against the door to overhear what was meant to be a private conversation.

"His nose is small!"
"So what? He's human."
"I don't like him."
"He'll have to do. After all, the Great Earl stole his shoes"

This was again getting too a little too much for the young wise man, who before this odd experience, had had a quite, peaceful, mildly fulfilling life. He passed out once again.
After waking up for the third time that afternoon, he felt he was owed an explanation. He walked to the other room and found the two strangely short men having a cup of tea.

"Ah, your up"
"Well. I think we owe you an explanation."
"I think you do!"
"Well, you see, the Great Earl lost his shoes one day. So, in a fit of rage, he stole yours."
"Why couldn't he just buy a new pair?"

Soon there was a very uncomfortable silence, as the angry African man was staring at the two short ones intent on hearing a very satisfying explanation for the strange occurrences of the day. Unfortunately, there was no answer to his question, and in the end, after five minutes of silence, one of the strangely short men spoke.

"Well, it doesn't matter does it."
"True. Very true indeed."
"So you see, my grace-deprived human, you must take the shoes back."
"Ayee. Fine. Where's the Great Earl?"
"Right beside you."

Finally, Sam noticed the strangely short man in a wheelchair. His face was wrinkly, dry, and cracked up, and he looked like he deeply wanted some 'Nivea Cold Cream For Men'. Sam, however, felt no pity for the old man who had stolen his shoes. He kicked him in the shin, took his shoes, and wore it. For the first time in the day, he felt like he was finally awake. The strangely short man began celebrating, started a tremendous fireworks display, and the house burned down.Soon afterwards, Sam passed out once again.

Sam woke up, back at home, asleep in his bed, with his shoes in place. At his bedside was a cup of tea, and a letter that said,"Thanks for your help. It's been a wild ride.-The short men"


Shyama said...

keep your shoes all times. The shoe thief is back! Cheers. Great post

Indrajit Dutta said...

You ain't short on talent man.The slippons that you wear might be pinched if your not on the cue.

shalmi said...

i want breathtaking pie.

celebrate 25th may, international towel day!! bring on the pan galactic gargle blaster....